Change of Focus

Its interesting how the dynamics all change when a new little life enters the family. Over the last three years I've been so focused on Alistair's disabilities and his set backs and trying to fix them. At times I've felt desperate in doing so. "If I just put every ounce of energy in these first magic three years he will...." Then this past fall it started to come apparent that my little boy wasn't going to reach a level that I had anticipated and dreamed of. That reality was tough.

It wasn't until after Francis was born I became aware of this method called the "Anat Baniel Method"

At first when I started looking into it it honestly sounded a little granola crunchy.(Sorry I have no other way to describe it.) Anyhow, I'm still looking into it but from what I can gather it basically is a method of physiotherapy with the concept of shifting the focus to connecting rather than fixing. It uses the philosophy of neuroplasticity in that the human brain changes as a result of one's experience, that the brain is 'plastic' and 'malleable'.

Anyhow, the whole point of telling you about this is that reading her book as helped me change my focus. As she mentions we have a habit of looking at what is broken and wanting to fix it rather than looking at what is and building upon it. So simple but so enlightening to me. Now I'm trying switch my focus and see everything that Alistair can do rather than can't and it is so refreshing.

Just lately we have noticed a few new things with Alistair. They are ever so slight that it has to happen numerous times for us to accept that a change has happened. Anyhow, everyday Jason takes Alistair's arms and puts them around his neck and tells Alistair to give him a big hug and then Jason gives a hug back. Well in the last couple of days he seems to be actually doing it to a certain extent. The other thing is every night we each give Alistair a big kiss goodnight and then we put our cheek to his lips and say give daddy or mommy a kiss. Well again the last couple nights Alistair has made the effort to actually kiss his mom! We still are wondering if we are seeing things we'd like to be there rather than what actually is as its so easy to do that but its just been to coincidental! So its very exciting for all of us and of course heart warming too. So those endless repetitive actions day in and day out may just start to show some results after all!

Francis's Photo Shoot~ Part One

I know alot of you have seen these photos but you can enjoy them all over again. I'm going to add a few at a time so that they can really be enjoyed individually.

 Back in the winter I had bid online on a newborn photo shoot and got it. I never do these kind of things and thought it would be one of numerous different things I should do to enjoy this pregnancy, birth and little bambino. As with Alistair we just didn't get that opportunity.

Katie, the photographer of KDB Photography, had fun pulling out all sorts of fun head bands, crowns, and fun items like the chair she is on. It was Katie's grandmothers chair and what a beautiful chair it was for a little beautiful girl to get photographed on! Loved it!

Seven Years!

 I'm a very lucky women to have found a very lucky man 12.5 years ago to spend my life with...today we've been married SEVEN years...I ♥ him so incredibly much!

In some ways it seems like yesterday that that this picture was taken and in other ways it feels like we've been together a lot longer than seven years. But perhaps its because we've actually been together since 1999. Its funny actually as every year when our anniversary comes along it almost passes us by before we realize the date has arrived. We generally feed our faces with scrummy food which is exactly what we did when Jason got home from work: scallops and bacon, fresh ravioli, lamb and some pinot grigio!

As I said we are both very lucky to have found each other and have such a solid relationship. Especially considering the fact we've really needed each other to be strong particularly in the last three years. However, its funny as the other day we were talking about how different couples we know have had challenging times within their relationship. During this conversation Jason said "Hopefully we never have to experience such challenging times." His remark on our life together made me chuckle and perhaps thats why we can handle LIFE so well together...♥ HIM!

Francis Baby Shower & Alistair's THIRD Bday

Well this is going to be another slew of pictures! Its crazy how time flies now that there are two kidlets to keep me running. I would love to post a ton more just in writing and I constantly think of things I'd love to write about but with my whole plan to get out of the house more, do a bit of secretary work for Jason's business, be mom to two, wife to one (LOL) and well just live its near impossible to get time in to post! Anyhow, the majority of these pictures were taken on July 8th which was Alistair's third bday if you can believe it. My sister in law, Bonita, put on a lovely day and the weather was just perfect for us all to just lounge out on the front lawn and enjoy kicking back. It was perfect to combine both the bday and baby shower as it just made for a bigger party!

Francis obviously got in a ton of cuddle time. Uncle George was definitely a favorite to cuddle. He was home prior to this but unfortunately was quite sick and being a tad on the cautious side he held off holding her last time. So he definitely made up for it this trip.

 It was so nice of Bonita to take on the shower. Especially considering the fact they are in the midst of moving to PG from Ft St John. It'll be so nice to have more family in town and also have the cousins growing up knowing each other. Here is Rebecca attempting to figure out Jason.

 Francis & Alistair received so many beautiful gifts.

I wanted to make Alistair a cake as that was something that Mom always did for us and it was so fun to see what she'd come up with this year. After a bit of googling I decided to go with the popular cupcake idea. It turned out super fun and some kids definitely got their share of sugar depending on the cupcake they chose.

 There were a bunch of kids of all ages around.

 It didn't take long for the kids to realize they could have an absolute blast with the sprinkler hose and a few umbrellas. Everyone got soaked and giggled all the way through!

 There was just a lovely turn out of people: old friends from elementry school, neighbours, family friends, soccer buddies, old family friends, and more!

 The casual atmosphere suited the gorgeous day.

One of the little boys brought Alistair a happy bday banner, that totally warmed my heart.

 I'm just sneaking this picture in as I love Alistairs expression. I've been trying to get lots of one on one kidlet time with each other.

 On top of having a baby shower at our house one of my friends from work also put on another baby shower a couple weeks prior.

She just went all out. There were tons of helium ballons, this fantastic watermelon, and just great company.

 Lisa, on the left in the blue, held Alistair for me while I opened presents. She truly is an incredible mother of four and was so gentle and loving with Alistair. So many people are unsure how to physically handle let alone emotionally connect with Alistair. Lisa had him wrapped around his finger in no time. Plus her kids took a great interest in both Alistair and Francis, to the point it brought me to tears as it just felt so good.

 Here are Lisa's three beautiful daughters all desperate to have a turn cuddling Little Miss Francis.

 Chelsea had lots of cuddle time too!

 When it was time to head out Lisa's three girls helped with all the goodies to the truck and waved us all goodbye!

Francis (and I) were completely spoilt with all the lovely gifts from both showers. Having a gathering of these sorts is very humbling and heart warming at the same time.

Thank You to all for the warm wishes, lovely gifts, beautiful cards and special phone calls. It really made for a fabulous celebration! :D

Making up for a Quiet Blog

Wow I had a peek on the blog to see when I had last posted and its been awhile! I got motivated when someone commented that the blogs been quiet. (tx!) Actually, I've been waiting for some pics to be sent to me as we just celebrated Alistair's third birthday along with a lovely baby shower at the house here. But I'll wait to comment on all that once I get the pics forwarded to me.

Alistair and his cousin Rebecca

 Anyhow, because time just got away on me I'm going to upload all sorts of pictures and videos to catch you up to speed. Life has been extremely busy with two kidlets rather than one. I've gone through a whole new learning curve as well. Little Miss Francis is unbelievably fiesty. I swear she's going to burst a gasket sometimes.

 I couldn't believe how quickly she figured out that if I put her down and she howled that mama would have her back in her arms again. At first I thought the poor little munchkin she shouldn't  have to cry as she doesn't know any better. Well about two or three weeks into that things changed as she knew exactly what she was doing! Not that I let her howl endlessly but now I just don't jump to her tune quite so quickly. We still have a ways to go but were getting there. Even when she's content its hard not to just go pick her and cuddle her because she's so darn cute!

 Alistair has definitely taken an interest in her too. I've had him roll numerous times just to get closer to her and check her out. Now I have to watch him as he's into getting up on his hands and knees momentarily and then comes crashing down and that can make for an awful clunking of heads! I actually went out and bought a good piece of high density foam as I notice when we were ever at moms Alistair would be more prone to getting up on his hands and knees.

Alistair and his buddy Walter

So now we have a permanent mattress/play area in the middle of our living room. Its worth it though as Alistair is constantly trying to get up on his hands and knees and explore life from a different perspective. I'm not sure how far things will progress but I can actually see little muscles that have developed on his back that weren't there a short while ago. Every little bit helps.

I think in many ways its been good for Alistair to be left to explore and be on his own. I also think he's just at a new level where he's interested in rolling and see where he can get himself too. This video below is fun as he got ahold of one of Francis's balloons.

 Just yesterday a bunch of us decided to head to the beach. West Lake is only a 20 minute drive from our house (the beauty of Prince George) which is a real treat. Once we got there and were all set up Alistair flaked out and snoozed for 3 hours. I even got myself out on a floatie on the lake for 20min which was glorious.

The only thing with all this that I find difficult is I see all the kids as young or younger than Alistair exploring, swimming, splashing, and horsing around. It reminds me of everything that Alistair can't and will never do. It hurts. But truthfully, I go through a twinge of pain daily. Some days are harder than others, and to be honest I think it is something that will always be part of our daily life .I say this as I've talked to several parents with kids who have higher needs and it seems to be a pattern. Even the parents of teenage kids with higher needs say the same thing. Whether its a major milestone all the other kids are reaching ie getting their drivers license, graduating, first art project, etc... there is always that reminder of what our kids limitations are. But that is life. Our life. 

Plus now with Francis she is already reaching milestones that Alistair hasn't which is a shocker. I jokingly say "she's going to go to Harvard" as its just amazing to me what she can do at times. I really notice such things as her grabbing onto our fingers, easily looking into our eyes and smiling, wanting to put her feet on the floor, lying on her stomach, and the list goes on....

 Anyhow, the lovely thing is we are getting out and about this summer which was my goal for this season and with this incredibly warm weather there is nothing better than being beside a lake!