Friday, October 17, 2014

So Thankful



Wow what a week. It started off with my brother heading home for the Thanksgiving weekend. So we got in  some board game time and just some good wholesome chilling as a family. Nice and mellow as always.
Then we went into the second week of school for Alistair. The first week was really just introducing him to the environment and introducing all Alistair's new friends to him. It was a pretty emotional week to be honest....for many reasons. Mainly its the first time Alistair has been with a group of kids all the same age. It was hard on me to be honest. Seeing all these lovely typical kids doing all their wonderful things whether quirky and  charming. I still am so envious of all these normals that people have the privilege to enjoy. I've heard from endless parents of special needs kids that one never truly gets use to or over this fact. I hope as time continues I can focus less on what Alistair isn't and more on what he is. Anyways, I've been so impressed with the school, teacher, and EA. Their effort to include him in everything possible is beyond my expectations actually. The fact that he's not always at the back of the line, that the teacher spends one on one time, the EA is continuously thinking of ways to stimulate him is fabulous. My fears of him being stuck in a corner or left to exist has been extinguished now that the second week is over. That was another aspect that was emotional for me was leaving the CDC and entering a whole new environment with Alistair. The physical environment didn't concern me but entering a whole new world with new philosophies and a whole new team is overwhelming. I just wanted to go in and be myself but you wonder....should I be more assertive? should I make demands? should I step back and let things unfold? If I do will they take me serious? What if what's important to me is not considered and as I walk out the door its forgotten or dismissed? I know parents of typical kids have similar concerns however Alistair can't come home and tell me what went on. SO I have to believe that those I hand my son over to are going to have his best interests at heart with progressive philosophies. Apart from taking their word I will never know what happens when I walk away.
So this second week everything started to settle for us. I only had to push a bit to have Alistair in for longer days. Every morning I dropped Alistair off and then head to their library so I was close enough to be called upon but far enough that I was oblivious to the day and allow everyone to settle in. I only returned for lunch/feedings. This Friday was our longest day 830-120. At home and en route to school Alistair raged. I thought we were all in for an experience. But as soon as we got in the door he was happy.  I didn't see Alistair all day apart from a meeting with the deaf and hard of hearing. I guess from noon on Alistair made all sorts of cooing noises and not once did he need a chew toy for calming or to lie down and stretch out. When I walked in the door of his class he was sitting in his chair with the biggest grin. A great way to end a second week.
I really couldn't be happier. I was so nervous about it all. Did I pick the right school? Would I deal with upsetting comments from the children? Would the fact I picked a country school be a positive or negative experience? Should I have sent him to a school with more experience in special needs of his level? Would the EA and Kindergarten teacher have a positive relationship? Would Alistair's case manager be an advocate for Alistair? Would I have to struggle to get specific equipment and materials for Alistair? Would the principal be supportive in all aspects of his entrance to school? Oooo the list goes on.... and you know what I really am so impressed.
I won't lie it is a stressful experience entering the school system with all the unknowns. Leaving the CDC team that knew our whole family the past five years to a whole new team that had a one day crash course on Alistair is stressful. I wouldn't say its an ideal setup. As these specialist go from having one day with Alistair and "educating" the EA (one on one support worker) on Alistair's needs. Fortunately, Lynda (the EA) is calm and very interested in doing what is best for Alistair. We still are awaiting initial appointments with various people but at least the appointment dates are on the calendar.
Other parts I got erked about but have let go is the fact we can't put a swing system up for Alistair. The school board won't allow it. It all comes down to legality, cost, and the fact after he is 35 lbs they would technically need a lift. Another thing I thought would be quick and easy was setting up his computer switch program that ultimately helps him with progressing with communication. It includes a program that I have paid for online. Well I guess it all has to go through the board and the speech specialist has to set it all up. So this multi level decision making process drives me a little wild but its the reality of the school system. Their are definitely benefits as well. Don't get me wrong. They have a large body of individuals and information to tap. Its just I had this idea that everything would be set up a lot quicker if I could help assist through not realizing all the hoops one needs to jump through.
Anyhow, its lovely to have these two weeks behind us. I have to say I can see why people of special needs kids get twitchy with this whole experience. I'm pretty laid back or at least I can step back and attempt to see others perspective but damn its hard stuff! Even though I love change there is so much left to unfold under other peoples discretion.....whew.....time to breath and open that bottle of wine!

VIDEO TIME